Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Top Ten Reasons Alton Brown Annoys me

You've seen this guy on your tube. As far as I'm concerned, he is the cooking anti-Christ. ( Just a figure of speech, people. Don't email me.)
Oh, he doesn't mean to be. He simply flies in the face of everything you've ever been brought up to believe about the kitchen, cooking, utensils, and procedures. Being the daughter of restaurant owners, sister to a sous chef, and not a half bad cook myself, this guy just grates on every one of my nerves.

Here are the top ten reasons why:

10. Hunnybunny likes him He really admires the way he cooks. Now he's getting more courageous in the kitchen. The jury is still out on if I'm liking that, but he does cook allot more. Now, if only he'd clean up!

9. I really hate the cheesy openings he does. And the gimmicks he does. Hasn't anybody told the guy that most people channel surf until he gets done with that?

8. Most of the time, he talks so fast I can't catch it all. I'm not sure he's a southern boy, but I could be wrong. He does live outside of Atlanta, but he talks like he's from up north somewhere.

7. He makes an entire program out of one food. I'd like to see what he can do making an entire Rachel Ray.

6. He makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen. Dude, I grew up in the back of a southern restaurant. (My earliest memory is the smell of the bleach sanitizing dish pan.) I might know what I'm doing, but not when you're on TV.

5. Hunnybunny tells me while I'm cooking, "But Alton says.....". and now we are buying even more kitchen gadgets, like whisks. Whatever happened to using a fork to beat your eggs?

4. He uses "Uh" as a catch phrase. I guess that's not enough to dislike him for. The idea is to get you to watch the show and I'm told that appeals to his male audience.

3. He refers to himself as "The Culinary Bill Nye". Yes, he does take the science of cooking to the masses, but that's quite a boast. Bill Nye rocks!

2.Now we have to watch him every time "Good Eats" comes on, regardless of whether someone else would like to watch something.

1. He cooks so much better than me! As Stan Lee would say, ' Nuff said.


Deborah said...

Funny you should say that. Alton Brown is making an appearance for our Library Foundation fundraiser sometime this month. I understand it's sold out.

Deborah said...

....forgot to say...and what about that strange little woman who appears sometimes and talks chemistry?

The Carolina Quilter said...

Funny! I've never even seen the guy but he does look like he could 'grate' on your nerves to use a cooking term--I think--I could for survival and don't watch cooking shows because they bore me to tears. DH says I'd rather watch programs where people are horribly murdered--true. I'm a fan of the true life murder mystery genre, unfortunately for my family who probably wish I would develop more of an interest in cooking shows!

I am ... said...

I have to confess.... I love Alton Brown! But I'm also a die hard Food Network junkie too.

I'm southern, so you can guess that ole' Miss Paula D is my fav!