Monday, January 12, 2009

Middle School Son's First Date

When I was growing up in the 70's, the phrase for a couple who wanted to be exclusive was "going together".

Typical language between teen girls of the time: "Are you going with Jake?"
"I can't believe she's going with him!"
Now, the terminology is "going out", as in "Do you want to start going out?".
Back in the 70's, the same phrase referred to dating. Things have certainly changed, I remember while working away from home one summer, a guy MAILED me his class ring and the note attached said: "Will you go with me?" . He was great about letters, too. And a year ahead of me in school. So, he wrote me most of my senior year from college. Anyway, enough about my ex-boyfriend.

Number 2 son now has a "girlfriend". She's as cute as she can be, and also goes to his youth group at church, so that's a plus. He comes to me asking if he can start going out with her. And that's how I got my aforementioned education. Now that I understand what he's talking about, (essentially, he wants to have a girlfriend) sure, go ahead. I know that he can't actually take her out in my understanding of the phrase because the rules are that he can't go out unescorted until he's got a license. So, he gets brave and asks if he can take her to a horror movie she wants to see. Knowing Hunnybunny would be as much fun as taking my mother-in-law on my honeymoon, I volunteered to be the chaperon. But, I didn't want to sit in the dark watching some scary movie. So I suggested roller skating. When his dad and I went out the first time back in 1982, that's what we did. There was a caveat to going: he had to call her dad and ask permission.
That's the southern thing to do and it would let us both know how serious he was about this girl.
I prepped him as best I could.

"It's always Sir, not yes, not no, 'yes, sir" and 'no, sir.' Got it? Even if he says you're pond scum, you say, 'yes, sir'. " And he did. The dad was so impressed according to the girlfriend. And I knew he would be.
"But I was so scared," he later told Hunnybunny.
"Good. Never get to comfortable with the dad." He advised.

We pick her up and meet her dad. After exchanging cell numbers, and curfew time, we head for the rink. Even going to the rink is a lot different. It was nice that I didn't have to pay as I was the chaperon. But I had to go through a metal detector, and they searched my purse and bag. All they found was a bunch of quilting books I had brought to read.
As he skated off with her, hand in hand, I kept thinking of that little baby who gave me kisses at 5 months old. The little boy who thought that Hamburger Helper was the greatest meal ever. I didn't cry, but I certainly felt like it. Maybe it was the bond, but he kept coming over to the table and checking on me. I'm sure she was confused, but I wasn't. He was trying to make it easy on me. ( Wonder what I'm going to be like when he goes to the prom?) I think I might have done something right where he's concerned. Of course, with such great material, who wouldn't have?


Deborah said...

What a great post. having met you, I can hear those words coming out of your mouth!

Anonymous said...

I still envision him as an infant...time flies! How sweet that you were there for his first "date"...


Anonymous said...

I once made the mistake of asking my teen daughter if she and a certain boy were "dating." This met with howls of laughter. I guess the only peson dating in that room was me dating myself.

How times have changed. Now you move in together, have a baby, and THEN get married.

Debra said...

OH, It's tough being a mom! I was told once by an older more experienced mom to be nice to every girl that comes through the door because you never know if one of them will become your daughter-in-law.

Katie said...

That's a lovely story! :-)

Jeri said...

what a sweet story. I think you've done a good job!

Dr.John said...

I remember those days with our kids. But they grew up.
Girlfriends became wives.
Boyfriend became former.
Life went on.
We still love them they still love us.